The Five Keys to Strategic Conversations

Table of Contents
Section I: Introduction: What are Strategic Conversations™?
Section II: The Strategic Conversations™ Process – The 5 Key Principles
Section III: Application: The Five Environments
Section IV: The Skill Building Process
Section V: Join the Program

Section I: - Introduction

Strategic Conversations™ is an interpersonal communication skill process designed to produce valuable, clear and meaningful conversations in your professional and personal interactions. It’s application is wide-ranging, from business meetings and group process, to sensitive professional conversations, to highly-charged emotional encounters. The fundamental principles of Strategic Conversations™ remain the same in each different context, however, the specific application changes to address the need of a particular situation.

Initially, the development of the “5 Keys of Strategic Conversations™” report came out of our experience in facilitating group meetings. We looked at the elements each successful group had in common, isolating the core components, and articulated them in simple to understand concepts. As professional coaches, we knew these same elements were present in effective one-to-one conversations as well. The art of using Strategic Conversations™, however,  is in its application, for different circumstances require different tactics. Once the tactics for the differing common situations are understood and exercised, successful and significant results can be consistently produced.

The 5 Key Principles of Strategic Conversations™ provide a process for having result-oriented, meaningful conversations. The principles are designed to be used anywhere and anytime. Once you internalize these concepts, you will have a powerful process that will move your interactions and conversations to a new level of respect and understanding.

Section II: - The Strategic Conversations™ Process – The 5 Key Principles

Each key of the Strategic Conversations™ process contains a breakdown of component parts and application for ease of use. Once the Strategic Conversations™ practitioner becomes comfortable with the process, then more creative application becomes available. As with all new skill development, there is a process to competency. The goal for the new practitioner is to get to a point where they are “unconsciously competent,” meaning they do not have to think out the process step-by-step, rather they will flow naturally and effortlessly.

The 5 Key Principles of Strategic Conversations™ are:

1. Set the context for the interaction:                                                                           
In order for a conversation to be “strategic,” the stage must to be set with certain understanding and agreement. This process is a critical first step for it clarifies the objective and creates an atmosphere where trust can be built upon. Click here for additional elements of setting the content for a strategic conversation.

2. Have the conversation:                                                                                           
Both an action step and a mind-set. As you communicate, your mind will be orientated so that you will receive and process input and respond to it in a focused and strategic manner. It is not necessary for each person involved to understand the principles, (although helpful) just you. Click here for insights into what makes a conversation strategic.

3. Feedback for clarification:                                                                                         
"I know you believe you understand what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant." Lewis Carroll in Alice in Wonderland. In its normal state, interpersonal communication is actually more often misinterpretation. All parties to the conversation believe they are being clear in what they are conveying, and the receivers think they are getting the message. The truth is, most of the time the message being received is only partially correct. In order to have a strategic conversation, all parties to the conversation must be clear. Click here for examples of clarification strategies.

4. Show Appreciation:                                                                                                 
The ending of a conversation is an important event in an of itself. All too often, a conversation ends too abruptly leaving one or more of the participants feeling awkward or uncomfortable. Then, the uncomfortable feeling is the last memory the participant is left with. The act of showing appreciation is an effective gateway to transitioning to the close of a conversation and summing up the value of the interaction. For more about the power and art of showing appreciation, click here .

5. Extend yourself:                                                                                                       
This element opens the door for a future interaction of this type of communication. It can invite a closer relationship, if desired, or simply establish a connection. Modeling this type of behavior will encourage others to behave in a similar manner, leading to clearer, more accurate strategic conversations. Click here for tips on how to extend yourself in ways that will positively impact your communications.

Section III - Application: The Five Environments

The five environments and their subsequent skill sets provide the key to producing consistent results with Strategic Conversations™. Each situation in which humans interact present unique circumstances that call for creativity and flexibility. We need the ability to adjust to changing circumstances and emotions. We also need the ability to be natural and spontaneous in our interactions.

The five environments provides the tools and strategy to cope with different contexts and personalities. Now, you have a system you can rely on to achieve the results you desire consistently.

The five environments are (for more extensive information, click on the underlined phrase):

Business Group Meetings – Ongoing professional interactions that are centered around business objectives and priorities. Our Strategic Conversations™ Group is a self-selected peer group that meets on a regular basis to address business issues. Examples of these types of meetings are:

• Groups of business owners
• Members of corporate teams
• Special Interest Groups

Management Strategic Conversations – Conversations in an organizational setting focused upon professional goals and responsibilities. Examples of these would be:

• Strategic planning
• Team building
• Department meetings

Sensitive Conversations – to prevent conflict, hurt feelings, and mixed messages. Examples of these would be:

• Between the sexes – keeping it just business
• Workplace conflict prevention
• Discussions around mutual expectations

Important Relationships ; when the other person is important to you. For example:

• Important Friendships
• Mentoring Relationships
• Intimate Relationships

Conversations on the fly – taking place as we plunge along through our daily lives.

• At a networking event, trade association meeting, or ball game
• Chance meetings on a plane, train or bus
• At the diner, the company cafeteria, your local pub

Section IV - The Skill Building Process

Becoming an effective communicator requires knowledge and practice. At Strategic Conversations™, we offer a range of programs and services to grow your interpersonal communication muscles. Human communication is both simple and complex. Simple in that once you understand the basics, you can dramatically alter your experience. Complex in that there are many other factors that influence the communication process, such as personality dynamics and history, environment, and time. We have created specific modules and practice groups to address each of these issues. Click here to learn more about these.

Section V – Join the Program

Strategic Conversations™ is designed to support your developing interpersonal skill needs. We do this through education, dialogue and practice groups. Our curriculum includes regular TeleSeminar sessions with thought leaders in the field of interpersonal dynamics and behavioral science. We want to be your one-stop-shop for interpersonal kill development!

We have two tracks that you can select from, based upon your level of need. The first is our Membership track, which involves a monthly fee, and is for those individuals who are on a fast-track for enhancing their communication skills. Click here for more information about this option.

The second option is simply to enroll when you wish. You will be invited to all our TeleSeminar sessions with thought leaders and any other public forum discussions. You will also receive our monthly tips newsletter and quarterly reports on the successful applications of the actual successful applications of Strategic Conversations™ from our practitioners. Click here for more information about this option.

Our goal is to inspire you to continue to develop your most important ability; the ability to communicate effectively with others. This ability affects virtually every aspect of your life. This ability is like a muscle that needs to be regularly exercised or it withers. Our program will offer you the ability to exercise, expand and challenge the most important tool for your life, your ability to communicate, on a regular basis. The mere focus on this topic on a regular basis will heighten your awareness. We look forward to meeting you on an upcoming call!

Business Group Meetings: (extended)

For centuries trade associations and professional societies have offered, as a core benefit of membership - a connection between peers that facilitates learning from the mistakes and successes of peers.

Napoleon Hill coined the concept of the mastermind alliance in his classic book Think and Grow Rich. He believed that a group of like-minded, achievement-oriented individuals could dramatically leverage each other's success. The mastermind concept has proven itself over time as a valuable resource for people of every profession.

Books have been written about how Thomas Edison, Henry Ford, et al participated in these small peer group discussions. In fact it seems that every notable achiever did so, at least in part with the help of others - people who met regularly to share experiences confidentially and without judgment.

We have taken the process to the next level by harnessing technology that allows you to connect with peers that are not also your competitors and assembling a cadre of facilitators whose collective experience of over 100 years of personal and organization effectiveness enabled us to develop a group structure that delivers real value that will impact both you and your bottom line!

These formal, structured, and facilitated Strategic Conversations groups will help you:

• Eliminate the isolation which results in actions based on assumptions untested by peers whose experiences and insights are superior to yours.
• Offer new perspectives from peers who have “been there done that”. Often it’s not what you don’t know that causes problems, but what you know for sure – that turns out to be wrong. As long as we continue to see things the way we’ve always seen them – we’ll never get beyond what already is.
• Provide vertical and horizontal mentoring, an experience exchange where an atmosphere of sharing results in each person learning from and contributing to the learning of the others. No one has the time or the money to make all the mistakes required before we achieve our goals. This experience exchange allows us to benefit from the experiences of others.

When you add a member of the Center for Coaching to the equation, your group’s effectiveness- based on what’s already working for someone in the group, rises to a whole new level.

If you are considering the formal Strategic Conversations process, we will work with you to select just the right individual for your group - based on our experience and your criteria.

We’ll address the three key challenges to help you at must be faced in order for your group to be productive, offer actionable relevant input for each member, and be sustainable over the long haul – offering a measurable return on the investment of your time and resources.

There is no cost or obligation for an exploratory discussion. Please use the email address, phone, or fax number to arrange a time we can have a Strategic Conversation together

Management Strategic Conversations: (extended)

Organizations thrive when there is an open exchange of information, enabling the full creative resources of the organization to flow. Business challenges, operational frustrations, and uncomfortable professional relationships limit an organizations' ability to operate efficiently and effectively, reducing productivity.

Strategic Conversations™ strategy is tailor-made for the corporate or organizational setting. In environments where clarity, understanding and trust make the difference between an effective organization and one that is encumbered by misunderstanding and mistrust, the Strategic Conversations™ process can be of invaluable help.

Specifically, the Strategic Conversations™ process guides all interactions at team or one-on one meetings. Context and ground rules are set, establishing an understanding for information exchange and discussion. In many companies, the poor execution of meetings actually wastes precious time. Not any more! Armed with the Strategic Conversations™ process, meetings and information exchange can be an enriching and productive process.

In situations where there is conflict or "coldness" forming between persons, the Strategic Conversations™ process can accelerate the resolution of the problem through targeting the core issue and setting the stage for open and honest discussion.

The process can be applied to eliminating power plays and coercion based on rank; setting the stage for communication that will benefit the organization and the team or department.

When facilitated by a member of the Center for Coaching, ­ we handle the details, the personalities, and set the ground rules that redirect otherwise non-productive energies.

Sensitive Conversations: (extended)

65% of all unforced terminations at organizations are the result of unresolved conflict. And in many cases the conflict is too "unimportant" to mention ­ yet it builds and builds, added to daily with additional tiny misunderstandings, mixed messages, and unclear expectations.

Over one-half of all marriages in North America end in divorce, and in the vast percentage of cases when remarriages occur; the new spouse is dramatically similar to the first one. It has been demonstrated that when communications takes place using the Strategic Conversations™ process as a framework, ­ the focus becomes the issues not the individuals. People are able to communicate productively, perhaps for the first time.

Misunderstandings, hurt feelings, mistrust, fear, anger, resentment , embarrassment, are all examples of negative reactions that can create a divide between people. Once a divide occurs, there is a halt of open communication. This divide can take the form of a blatant hostility, or a cold distancing. When you are in it, it can feel draining to keep up the guard of protection.

The Strategic Conversations™ process enables difficult situations to begin the process of healing through open and honest exchange in a format agreed by both parties.

Important Relationships (extended)

The value of a relationship lies in its level of trust and intimacy. Our most endearing relationships are those that possess commitment and enriching stimulation. As relationships grow and develop, there is greater need for communication tools to manage the deepening commitment. Misunderstanding, hurt feelings and resentment will occur, that is a given, so it becomes progressively more important to possess the tools to manage these important relationships.

Strategic Conversations™ provide the tools to develop rewarding and trusting long-term relationships. It will change the way you interact with the people you care about. And how they see you and the relationship will also change. Regardless of what might occur, you will have powerful tools to meet the situation.

Conversations on the fly (extended)

Have you ever met someone in a chance encounter, and, feeling unprepared and surprised, felt you lost an opportunity to connect with this person? Or, you meet someone at an airport or a restaurant, someone who you feel good about, and you feel uncertain how to begin continue or end a conversation with. Strategic Conversations™ will provide a clear framework to address these types of chance encounters. You will learn how to establish a context and set the stage for a conversation. You will also possess the skills to communicate in a way that stands out as appealing to the person you are speaking with.

Set the context for the interaction (Extended)

Setting up the context is about creating clarity and boundaries for the interaction. It is a process of establishing goals and agreement for an interaction. Here are some examples of setting the context:

“I would like to speak with you about networking. I am interested in hearing your thoughts on the topic and any wisdom you may have to impart. Would you have 10 minutes to discuss networking with me?

“I have noticed that there seems to be a distance between us when we have interacted recently. I am concerned about this. Would you some time this afternoon to talk with me?”

Have the conversation (Making the conversation Strategic)

The elements of a good strategic conversation are welcoming gestures and body communication, communicating clearly and listening. It has been documented that the majority of the message received in communication is non-verbal. This means that your facial expressions, body language and tone of voice are vitally important factors. And, behind these important non-verbal communication factors is your thinking process regarding the person and the interaction. While we cannot control how someone sees us, we can do our best to present an image of earnestness, and interest. And, we can choose the think thoughts about the conversation and the person that will support that behavior. Think about when you were smiling on the outside while internally criticizing another person during an interaction. People will often pick up on something and the conversation will often take a turn for the worst.

Feedback for clarification:

It is fascinating how often we miss the message in communication. What we receive and interpret is often different from what the communicator intended for us to hear. The feedback loop is the solution to this issue. Feedback involves sharing your interpretation of the message for verification. A few examples for feedback statements might be:

“ What I hear you saying is ……. Am I correct?

“So, you are saying that…………..

“ Let me feed back to you what I heard to make sure we are in sync on the message. You are saying that…………….

Show Appreciation:

The key relates to the human dimension of an interactions: the emotions. All persons want to feel valued and appreciated. It has been said the emotions play the largest role in a sale. If a person “feels” good about a person or product, they are more likely to buy. The purpose of this key is to make an emotional deposit into the relationship. A simple statement is all it takes to make someone feel appreciated and valued. For example:

“ I want to than you for your time and thoughts on this topic. You have enriched my thinking on this matter.”

Thanks for your ideas on this, it has been helpful.”

Extend Yourself: